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| Wow I haven't updated this in forever and it's funny that most of my posts are at horribly early hours of the morning because this one is happening at 4:55 am. Ugh! I drank soda for the first time in awhile. They got the Game Fuel Mountain Dew back in stores for a limited time so of course I went out and bought some because it's the best drink ever. I drank one of those and a regular Mountain Dew so surprise surprise I'm not sleeping. I'm at Rox's apartment now in Bloomington. It's been a lot of fun and I'm so glad that we can still hang out and be friends like before. There's only one friendship that seems to have changed and I really don't like it but I don't know what to do with it. I hope that it gets better on its own because when I think about bringing something up it just seems too ridiculously awkward and I just don't want to go there. I've heard sooo many times that talking thru problems is the best way to solve them but when I think about bringing something up I talk myself out of it. I feel like I really know my friend and she would never mean to make me feel like she was just dropping our friendship. So why would I accuse her of that? I just hope it doesn't really just end and we both look back and regret it. Then I'd feel really bad, but I just can't bring myself to talk about it. Sooo lets see to recap what I've done this weekend: I went to Erinn's going away party at Grady's. We rode the bumper cars and go carts, ate pizza, and played one of those games where the money you put in pushes other money and you never really come out ahead. It was funny but I know you had to be there. Then we hung out at Shari's and ate Jello cake and chips and queso. I spent the night at Jess' and finally saw her new apartment. It's cute and I really miss living with her. Then I had to go it alone for 4 hours until Rox got off work. I could have gone home but I wanted to see her! So I went to Starbucks and read the last Harry Potter book. Rox and I already laughed about this but I read 60 pages in 4 hours! hahahahaha. I'm pathetic! In my defense I did fall asleep part way thru but that is pathetic on a whole new level. Then Rox and I got Arby's and went to see I Love You, Beth Cooper with one of her roommates Kristen. It was not that great of a movie but I guess I was fooling myself in expecting much. Then we hung out some more and watched Friends, but Rox went to sleep like a normal person and here I am blogging at 5:07 in the morning. My life is ridiculous. I'm glad I haven't gone all stale yet. :) Tomorrow's gonna be interesting either going to church and running on fumes or skipping my entire day as if it were night and being up all night tomorrow night keeping this cycle because it's easier to go with the flow then fix things. That's my pathetic life. I'm ridiculous, but maybe I've stumbled upon something. Oh wait no I already knew that I avoided conflict or effort at all costs. | | |
| I'm procrastinating right now. I feel like Spongebob in that episode called Procrastination where he's supposed to write an essay about what not to do at a stoplight and he procrastinates right up to the last 10 minutes and writes it all in time to get to class to find out that the assignment was canceled and that it's Saturday. The last part isn't going to happen to me, but I am procrastinating. I'm kinda hungry too. I drank diet coke to try to make the hunger go away but then I was googling diet coke to see if it was really bad for me and it is so that wasn't good, but now I feel like I have to keep drinking it cuz I opened it and I dont want to waste it. And I'm probably gonna drink all the other cans too just so I don't waste them but I'll just pair them with water and milk and then the dehydration and loss of calcium that is supposed to happen wont.
I almost thought that I wouldn't have the internet tonite cuz it wasn't connecting. At the time when I thought that, I was frantic and wanting to get my assignment done and over with. I was thinking, "Oh if I just had the internet I would do it right now," but I fixed it and I have it, and it turns out that wasn't the case. There was something else in the way. And that "something else" was that I don't want to.
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| Katey and I went to see an independent film today. It was pretty good. Better than I expected. It really made us both want to be in a movie, even if it wasn't a real one. I was trying to think up what I would make a movie about if I had the chance. I realized I do have the chance because anyone could write a screenplay or whatever they're called, but I don't think I have the talent. I don't know the first thing about scripting a movie. The only thing I could think of was my own life story which sounds lame, but I wouldn't start from birth. It would be a love story focusing only on my crazy relationships which kind of are worth writing about. But the more I started thinking about it, the more I can't figure out if my character is good or evil and also if I would be able to watch the finished product. I would definitely want to call it, If Your Life Was a Movie, Would You Watch It? Kind of a long title, but who cares? It's never gonna be a movie, and if it is, it won't be my movie. Blending in is so much easier than making a name for yourself. Maybe someday I'll be an extra or something or in a commercial, or small film. DREAM BIG!
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| Today is the last day of one of my classes at ISU. Yesterday was the last day of another. I'm pretty much done. One day I'm probably gonna look back and really miss it. That day is not today. But I can still imagine this day. I'd say overall ISU has been a really good experience. I've had the most freedom I've ever experienced, I've probably had the biggest fluctuation in weight in my entire life. I met the love of my life who I will spend the rest of my life with. I've made friendships that will last forever. I've learned alot. Not that much in the classroom. Not the important stuff anyways.
I've learned...
that you really don't have to go to class in college. especially if you're only shooting for a B.
that you can have sleep, good grades, and a social life, but not all three at once
that there are many different lifestyles to pick from in college and you gotta pick the one that's right for you
that eventually eating alot of bad food and inactivity will catch up to everyone, even me
that you won't die if you stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning and sometimes it's necessary
that dorms are dirty
that being poor is no need for alarm, it's the norm.
that the library is open until 2, but on most days, who really cares?
that Gumby's is open until 2 and sometimes 3 and everyone cares about that.
that snow is now a bigger problem than ever before. you've gotta walk farther in it or scrape your car because you probably don't have a garage.
that Walmart is your new best friend.
that naps are not for babies or toddlers anymore. Naps are AWESOME!
I could add so many more but now I really want to take a nap!
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| It snowed alot yesterday and today. I'm even further convinced that I do not want to stay in Illinois, but I've known this for a long time. I went to WalMart with Jess and got food for the last 2 weeks here and took a 2 hour nap. Then Jess and I ate a pizza and watched TV. The only goal I set for myself today was to find my Ipod which I did so mission accomplished. Oh ya and I went to my only class. And I watched Spongebob. It was a pretty good day....Except for the snow....At least Christmas is on its way.
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